Scotland Pt. 2

Ayo it’s ur boy Steve, comin at u hot from my couch at 9 PM, being myself, living my truth, taking life 1 day at a time.  No haters, no bullshit, no negativity, just me, positive thoughts, good vibes. Follow me on IG @stephenrusl, hmu on Gchat (stephenrusl@gmail).

Scotland Pt. 1 Recap: Me and my pal Rich (if you want to go on my next travel adventure with me, tweet at ur favorite blogger (me) with a link to ur favorite blog (mine) to be entered in the sweepstakes) had a really great time in the Turkish Lounge and nearly missed our flight and then at the end landed in Scotland, which was pretty boring compared to the flight there but I’ll go through it anyway I guess.

Due to time zones, it was only around 1 pm when we landed in Edinburgh (FYI, Scottish people all pronounce this Edin-boro.  The reason for this is really interesting – it’s because Scottish people are fucking stupid), so we had plenty of time to enjoy the city with our host/tour guide, Laura, pictured below.

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Oh right em, this dog’s name is Chippy! And people rub its nose for, em, good luck, or something, and em ah fuck it let’s grab a pint

Laura’s mom picked us up from the airport and took us to Laura’s childhood home, which was maybe 30 minutes from downtown E-burgh.  After we dropped off our stuff, Laura took us into the city on a DOUBLE-DECKER BUS.  This was the coolest part of the whole trip, second only to the Turkish Lounge – me and Rich sat on the top floor, right at the FRONT.  It was like we were flying through the streets!

Once we got there, we knew we had to make the most of our time and hit the ground running.  So first things first, Laura took us to a bar to have a drink.  Literally our first stop.  Not an historic one, or anything, but just some like, chain bar, like a Scottish Buffalo Wild Wings.    After about 3 drinks there, Laura, ever the host, wanted to make us feel at home, so she callously cut the line at a convenience store to buy us a 6-pack of tall boy Buds, and gave us a walking tour of the Old Town while we enjoyed America’s finest export:

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Bus Boys

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Things you can only do in Scotland

Old Town Edinburgh was pretty cool.  It’s got all these alleys (Called a “Close”-Scottish people have all these CRAZY words) and little nooks, and it was built in two levels, one for the poor, and one for the people with lounge access, so you can take stairs down to a street right under the one you’re on, which is cool.  Also, there’s some neat stuff in some of those alleys:

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It’s like they knew I was coming

While we walked around, Laura was sure to take us to all the oldest, most authentic local-secret spots in town, like the Frankenstein Bar.  Laura told us how cool this place was, a real hidden gem.   Picture this: a bar with a life-sized FRANKENSTEIN MONSTER statue at the front.  Whoa!  Scotland is awesome!  How could this trip get any better?

 

We spent a few hours going from bar to bar; Rich and Laura compared IPAs while ordering me my preferred drink, a nice cocktail called a Woo-woo, which is I believe a mixture of vodka, peach schnapps, and about a half-scoop of Hawaiian Punch mix.  Laura had Portrait mode on her phone, so I was able to take some great travel shots for my Tinder.

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Taken with an iPhone 7

After a few hours we were pretty hammered.  We got fish and chips, which was awesome, and Laura tried to take us to a ceilidh (Kay-lee), which is like a Scottish hoe-down, but I guess she isn’t very highly ranked in Scotland because she couldn’t get us in.  So we just went to regular bars and did exactly what we would’ve done in America.

We did get to talk to a local – Paul, who was about 42, was at this pub on a Tuesday,  as he probably was every day, with his wife.  Paul was fun because he was impossible to understand.  Me and Rich talked to him for probably an hour, catching mostly the gist of what he was saying through his super thick accent.   We did manage to learn that he, like us, loved the epic fantasy series The Wheel of Time (currently being adapted into a TV series by Amazon), and we also talked about Youporn, which was his favorite porn site.  Turns out, people from other countries are just like you and me!

We walked home at around 3 am – no double-decker buses were running anymore, so we walked for like a fucking hour with Laura telling us over and over that it was just 5 more minutes – and went to bed.  It was easy to sleep knowing we’d already done so much in Scotland and made so much out of our trip, and that we had way more to look forward to with Laura as our trusty guide.

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Uh yeah em so right what do you guys want to do?

God is this blog invigorating or what, one 7 day trip told a day at a time over the course of about 18 months.  Be sure to share this on your social media and tell all your friends!  When I leverage my blog into a bestselling book you will be able to say “I made that happen.”

 

 

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